Do you know why most people come to my practice?

They have problems in their relationship; they have problems at work or they are not healthy and they don’t know why.

Do you know what they want?

Peace of mind, joie de vivre, light, energy and really fun again.

And do you know what they have in common: A little self-esteem.

The famous psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden sums it up in one sentence: “Almost all psychological problems can be traced back to insufficient self-esteem.”

I also have experience.

It doesn’t matter in what area of ​​your life: Everything depends on self-esteem.

Good relationship
Fulfill what you do, whatever happens.
Handling stress and the challenges of a smooth life.
A happy love relationship.
The joy of life, a light heart and inner peace.

Strong self-esteem has always been the basis for this.

Conversely, the origin of many problems is lack of self-esteem. Interpersonal problems, self-doubt, and negative thoughts often arise from lack of self-esteem.

And at the same time, many studies show that nothing is more important than strong self-esteem.

Why is self-esteem so important?

If we have a little self-esteem, we doubt ourselves a lot. We torture ourselves with negative thoughts about ourselves such as “I can’t”, “I can’t be loved”, “I have to do something to get recognition”.

This is reflected in our charisma. Our facial expressions, our gestures, all non-verbal communication sent the message: I am not worthy. I’m not good enough.

And because our fellow humans always reflect well what is happening in us, they will behave accordingly. The result is that we experience negative things that disappoint and hurt us.

And our self-esteem continues to decline. The downward spiral that feeds itself more and more.

That sounds like a vicious circle, right?

At first glance, BUT now comes the good news that this article is about today:

We can change it! We can actively strengthen and enhance our self-esteem!

Our self-esteem is not innate but has developed over a certain period of time.

This means that we can further increase and strengthen our self-esteem.

And I think that’s what we have to start with now

Before we start training, I want to talk about self-esteem.

Nathaniel Branden, self-esteem expert, has defined “the 6 pillars of self-esteem”. (And, by the way, also wrote a book about it.)

I have summarized these 6 pillars in a very simple way in my own words: self-love, self-confidence, activity, and conscious life.

This is a basic topic that can also be seen at different levels: cognitive, emotional and physical.

In order for us to also strengthen our self-esteem, it is important to include these three levels.

So, don’t be surprised if this exercise is mixed and may not have anything to do with self-esteem at first sight.

So let’s go.

1. The things that you have achieved

Write a list of all the things you have accomplished in your life. That can be anything. From marathons to one semester abroad to transportation. Everything you can think of in your life that you are truly proud of.

It’s best to keep this list with you so you can always remember what you did

2. Your strengths

Most people are great at noting their weaknesses and what they can’t do. But when it comes to our strengths, we often struggle.

So write down your strengths list. What are you good at? What are you really good at? It doesn’t matter how long the list is, as long as some of your strengths are in it. And from now on you will always remind yourself of your strengths.

You can also ask your friends what strengths they see in you. You might be surprised.

3. Take a shower carefully

Take your time to take a shower. Feel exactly how water curls your skin. How does it feel When you soap, make yourself very aware: this is my arm, this is my shoulder, this is my stomach, etc.

Enjoy bathing and awareness of your body. The best thing to do is introduce the shower attentively every day.

4. It’s me – my heart beats for me

Stand up, place one hand on your stomach and the other hand on your heart. Breathe in and out slowly. Feel your heartbeat. Be aware: my heart just beats for me.

Do this exercise for a few minutes, preferably regularly.

5. I am quite good

The sentence that unconsciously we mess up our lives is: “I’m not good enough”. In some cases we are very aware of this belief. Most of the time he goes back and forth between conscious and subconscious.

Therefore, take the phrase “I am good enough” and confirm it for you regularly. Always and everywhere, loud and silent. So long that it feels completely normal and natural.

6. Check your mind

We believe what we think. Especially negative things. But often they have nothing to do with reality.

Therefore, give your thoughts a thorough examination.

Make 4 columns on a sheet of paper. Your negative thoughts appear in the first column. In the second column are arguments that underline your mind. In the third column you write arguments that contradict your thoughts.

Then you reexamine your original thoughts and let the pros and cons arguments take effect, and in column 4 you form new thoughts that are more realistic than original thoughts.

This exercise can revolutionize your world of thought and create many WOW moments if you are fully involved.

7. Imagine

Walt Disney once said: Only what we can imagine can become reality. I see it the same way.

So, start to imagine what a woman with good self-esteem looks like. How is the behavior? What posture does he have? How does he move? What facial expressions does he have?

And imagine you really are that woman!

8. Smile for yourself for one minute

Because Vera Birkenbihl is the slowest, we know that if we smile briefly, our mood improves. The body thinks: Hey, when he smiles he is in a good mood. Even if his smile “lights up”.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, you associate this good mood with yourself. So it’s the perfect exercise to practice your self-love.

9. Become a postman

Now you can really try what you practiced internally in Exercise 8. Stand in front of a mirror where you see yourself fully.

And then practice the postures of those with good self-esteem. You practice everything you imagine in Exercise 8 in front of a mirror.

10. Take care of yourself

Self-care is very important for your self-esteem. Pamper yourself with delicious food, make it tasty and comfortable.

Ensure a pleasant living environment where you want to live, eat high-quality things that you can fully enjoy. Use cosmetic products that increase your well-being.

This is not about expensive branded products, but only about what feels good to you.

11. Move

Your body is happy when moved. There are many things we can do. The best thing to do is try various things and do what you like the most.

By the way, it doesn’t always have to be really sporty. For example, walking for half an hour is the best way to relieve stress.

12. Know what gives you strength

Introverts draw their strength from calm. Extroverted people from together.

What type are you? If you don’t know exactly, then pay close attention when you fill up with strength and when it makes you strong.

And make sure you always recharge your batteries.

13. Treat yourself like your best friend

Often we treat our friends more empathetically and lovingly than ourselves. If you realize that you are really hard on yourself, then tell yourself STOP!

How will I deal with my good friends in the present situation? And that’s how you treat yourself.

14. Let yourself dream

Dreams inspire us, dreams kidnap us, dreams exist to dream. Let yourself have a dream. Big dreams, small dreams. And try to truly implement some of your dreams.

This is not only good for self-esteem but also a lot of fun and excitement.

15. Don’t compare yourself

The number 1 killer of self-esteem is when we compare ourselves to others. If I have learned one thing in my years of practical experience, that is: Rarely does it look like!

So, even if you think that the others are far better than you, that they have far greater confidence or have a better relationship. From the outside, this might look like that, but no one knows whether it’s true.

So every time you compare yourself to someone else, remember: You don’t know what really happened with the others.

Therefore concentrate on yourself!

16. What do you like about yourself?

What do you really like about yourself? Character traits, physical things, skills. Just write everything you can think of.

Always carry this note so you can always remember what you think is good about yourself.

17. Stand for you

Often it is much easier to do what others want. Even if you really want something very different from yourself. Really stupid for self-esteem.

So start standing for yourself. Do you not agree with others? Then say it! Do you want to do something different from your friends? Then say it! Do you have a better idea at work? Then say it!

This does not automatically mean that you are truly made. It doesn’t have to be good. Still, it’s important for you to talk.

You will see that it feels very good and strengthens you from the inside.

18. Laugh instead of criticism

Sometimes you have to drop five. If something becomes stupid, try to laugh at it next time and not fall into criticism mode. It doesn’t matter if it’s about you or someone else.

Humor and laughter are the best ways for us not to bite others and take life in general and take it too seriously.

19. Try new things

It doesn’t matter if other ways to work, different restaurants, or to get rid of habits are really overdoing it.

Try doing new things regularly. It keeps us awake, lives, and trains our neuroplasticity.

20. Learn to say NO

If you say yes, say yes. If you mean no, say no. Often we tend to say yes even though we are NOT. And that is always a blow to our self-esteem.

I know this may be one of the most difficult exercises, but also one of the most important.

21. Be here and now

Highest discipline – be here and now. It’s not easy. The easiest way to do this is to focus on what is happening in your body. How does it feel? Where do I feel this now? How does it feel? What i listen to

The more you are “in the body”, the more you are here and now!

So here they are: 21 of my tips for higher self-esteem!

And now it’s your turn. Now about you who actually apply tips and exercises. Only in theory they don’t make you any further.

This is also very important: don’t overwhelm yourself!

Doing too much always causes frustration and ensures that we cannot maintain it. So do a little every day.

Then you will increase your self-esteem on an ongoing and long-term basis, and also have fun doing it.

But it’s important that you stay alert and really do something for your self-esteem every day. This is the only way to really strengthen it. Because the following also applies here: Practice to be perfect!

If you feel stuck in one place, you can write to me anytime at

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