Everyone knows self-doubt.
Even people you don’t see. Those who always appear confident and strong often doubt themselves very strongly.
Like me, for example. I doubted myself for years because I wanted to be a part of it. Whether at school, at a sports club or in a cool click. I want to be a part of it, and that’s why I keep questioning myself. But you don’t see it from the outside.
Or a friend. For many years he truly believed that he did not deserve a happy relationship, and he always blamed himself when a relationship failed. After each farewell, he fell into a deep valley filled with self-doubt and mercy.
Self-doubt doesn’t feel good. Nobody wants it. But they are always present.
But what exactly does self-doubt mean?
By definition, self-doubt is “doubt directed at one’s self, thoughts and actions. Doubt means uncertainty, insecurity, and fickleness.
So if you doubt yourself, it means you have insecurities about what you think and do. You question yourself.
That in itself is not a bad thing. Ask yourself, sometimes not sure. Really human and normal.
But we still associate something negative with self-doubt. Something we don’t want.
Self-doubt can also be very helpful.
For example, if you turn wrong. Or if you act against your gut feeling. Or if you do something that you don’t like at all.
Then it makes sense to ask yourself. Stop adjusting the course if necessary.
Imagine that you completely ignore your doubts and proceed with courage. Regardless of losses. That is also not a good thing.
In this case, self-doubt is an important guide and indicator if you have to rethink your way.
But why do we suffer so much?
Self-doubt can really destroy your life. (I have explained this in more detail here: https://rosinageltinger.de/leben-versauen/).
And all because we are not convinced and question ourselves?
No, of course not.
Because self-doubt is not the problem. That’s somewhere else.
This is not about self-doubt, but what triggers within us.
To do this, we must look a little deeper. And then we end up with pride.
What does self-doubt and self-esteem have to do with each other now?
In short: “lack of feelings” in our self-esteem activates self-doubt.
Feelings like: I’m not good enough, I’m not important, I don’t deserve it. (How you can love yourself more is explained in this article.)
This is no longer about the original situation or self-doubt, but there are totally different forces in the work that takes control.
It feels self-doubt floods you like a big wave that you can not control.
Even if you still look normal on the outside, a film is now playing inside you that keeps you busy all the time and massively influences your thoughts and feelings.
Patterns and old injuries are activated. And that is reflected in your inner background film, where you are no longer a director.
And that’s the point: You have to become a film director of your own life again.
Then you can confidently face self-doubt and use it positively.
To give you some ideas on how to do this, I have collected 3 points that will help you overcome your self-doubts or handle them differently.
1. Don’t defend yourself
If you see that you are trapped in your inner film and your self-doubt makes you feel bad: leave the feeling behind and don’t fight.
There is always a deeper feeling behind self-doubt, which is actually about it.
And it doesn’t taste good. The first impetus is: “Oh, I don’t want to feel that. It doesn’t taste good. I want it to disappear!”.
But trying to “pick it up” unfortunately does the opposite. The more you want it to disappear, the more intense it will get.
Even though these feelings often don’t feel good: they are an important guide for your soul.
They indicate where old wounds are still buried or there is a pattern of blocking to be resolved.
If you know how to use it, it is a very valuable gift. Because your soul shows you where there is still work to be done.
Let the feeling be there. Without judging them, without judging them, just perceiving them and leaving them there.
At this point I found the beginning of the phrase “Aha, interesting …” really helpful.
“Aha, interesting, now I feel how scared I am”. “Aha, interesting, her fear feels so and so.” It helps you to stay with what you are now.
It’s important to let this feeling go, but don’t identify yourself with it. This is your feeling, but it is not entirely you, but only a part of you, among many other aspects.
2. Rewrite your script
Become a film director in you again and rewrite your script. As you wish.
If you find yourself trapped in an inner film full of self-doubt, imagine you turn the film around.
To the point where you are still fine.
Take a moment to empathize with the “good path” again.
When you are fine, where do you feel very well? How does it really feel? What color? Is it warm? You do this until you feel good again.
And then you think: How do you want this situation to happen now? What should your inner film look like?
You can imagine the most beautiful scenario exactly the way you want it. Let your dreams run free. You can’t do it here!
I truly believe that Walt Disney is right with his quote: “Only what we can imagine can become reality.”
Therefore dream as big and crazy as possible.
If you have an ideal film program, then imagine. How the film continues now, scene after scene, until a happy ending. And try to empathize with that.
If you notice that some of this film is very touching and feels very good, then stay there a little longer.
Where do you feel it? How does this feel? How big is it Is it roomy or liquid? What color? The more precisely you can describe feelings for yourself, the better.
And then you press the play button again and let the movie continue.
And when a point reappears that feels really good, you stay there longer and take the time to feel it.
So you play the entire film to your personal end.
A loud and critical voice may now appear that says: What is all this about? That will not happen as I wish! Then why should I imagine that? Really stupid.
How do you want to know?
Try it, involve it and try it. And even if your film doesn’t come true, you still win something very important. Beautiful and precious life time that you should spend with doubt.
And another very important tip: be patient with yourself.
You might find it very difficult the first time. You will always fall into old doubt. That’s very okay and normal. Note that, and then return to the positive film.
It’s easier with each pass.
3. Put your focus on yourself
Be confident instead of being aware of others!
Most self-doubts arise in contact with others. Either through direct feedback or by interpreting other people’s reactions (e.g. Which then looks very funny).
- You feel not good enough because your boss is not satisfied with your last presentation.
- You feel that you are not attractive enough because your last date has not been reported.
- You feel bored because you are not a rampant party that entertains everyone.
Free yourself from needing approval from others. Get rid of what other people think of you.
As long as this is a high priority for you, you are dependent and not free to live your life. The life you want!
Don’t try to interpret the thoughts and feelings of others and act accordingly, but stay with you.
Be aware of yourself, your feelings and your needs. How are you doing in this situation How do you feel Do you think the conversation is interesting and inspiring? Or not.
Put the focus on yourself. Because that’s the only thing you can care about: how you feel and what you do.
Article Source : rosinageltinger.de